Snow White Noise

In this blogger’s opinion this Snow White is still the fairest of them all.

Once upon a time in a Kingdom called Hollywood, studio executives ran out of original ideas. A great panic spread across the land and the executives began searching high and low for old ideas that were marketable, classic and fingers crossed profitable. And, so it came to be that three major studios Relativity Media, Disney and Universal all put out their take on the Snow White legend. ABC put out a series called “Once Upon a Time” centered around Snow White and her Prince Charming, Relativity put out “Mirror, Mirror” and finally Universal put out “Snow White and the Huntsman”. ABC’s “Once” is actually pretty interesting, I’ve been marathoning the episodes on Hulu in my free time, and “Mirror, Mirror” was by no means a masterpiece but was a fun, visually stunning adventure. I don’t know if its the fact that it came out last or just it’s own issues but “Snow White and the Huntsman” was by no means the fairest of them all.

The movie was built around “Twilight” star Kristen Stewart but what’s interesting about that is that when the film opens she is the last star to be featured on screen. Chris Hemsworth, our huntsman narrates the film and Charlize Theron makes her appearance way before we ever see Snow White herself. And, when Kristen Stewart does make her arrival in the movie she does a decent job eating apples, swinging a sword and being a waif like princess. It’s only when one of the dwarfs says Snow White is the personification of life itself and the fairest of them all that I began to roll my eyes. Kristen Stewart is a lot of things, but the personification of life? I’ve seen more spirit coming from mannequins. During her press rounds here in New York City, she zombie walked around the “Today Show” courtyard as if she was Matt Lauer’s hostage.

Fierce ass bitch.

Luckily for Universal, the cast surrounding their princess is amazing. Chris Hemsworth continues his bad ass streak after being Thor and Charlize Theron is over the top as a beautiful, cursed and insanely wicked Queen. When the two of them are on screen the film works, however it fails when the film attempts to get us to believe that Kristen Stewart is the most beautiful and important woman on the planet. How many more times am I going to be led to believe that? And, without spoiling this movie for any readers how many times am I going to watch her make shitty romantic decisions on screen? If I look past the Kristen stuff, the film is pretty good. And, for the record she is not terrible, she’s just not able to prove to me that she’s the fairest or most important. The overall dark mood of the film is really interesting, because this is not a very dark fairytale so that new light is intriguing. And while the visuals may not be as colorful as “Mirror, Mirror” they are stunning in their own way. The Queen’s gold mirror and her army of glass shard soldiers are incredible.

Demigod, New Father and all around Nice Guy Chris Hemsworth and I last week.

Like I said, I watched as KStew zombie walked through the courtyard at Rockefeller Plaza on Thursday as she spoke about her new movie and greeted fans. I understand some people just want to act and not have to do all of the dirty work that comes with the job. But, why does she continue to pick such high profile films if she’s not into the blockbuster promo tour? Chris Hemsworth more than made up for the lack of crowd savvy of his co-star. When Dana, Cathy and I headed to see him on Friday morning at Al Roker’s house he was the best. He took photos with everyone, signed every scrap of paper shoved his way and even thanked me for congratulating him on the arrival of baby India. Perhaps Kristen will learn from the example of her co-stars and get better with meeting and greeting the press and her public. And, hopefully Hollywood will leave Snow White alone for a while.

Avengers Assemble… Again

When I tell people how excited I am about “the Avengers”, or super hero movies in general they seem to be surprised. But, I would like to remind people before I was a designer clothes shopping, Adam Levine crush carrying, “Ru Paul’s Drag Race” watching gay man, I was once a little boy. And while I was born gay, my tastes didn’t catch up until adolescence. So that meant that until around 11, I had the same interests as most other boys – cars, Power Rangers, and super heroes. Now aside from being very ignorant, assuming that I was a nine year old Vogue subscriber because that’s who I am today is also short sided. Because, in my opinion super heroes are super gay. Um, big buff guys who are good people with a drive to be normal and accepted members of society but this one thing that makes them different is not accepted by others? And in turn they are labeled as freaks and treated poorly? GAY! Don’t even get me started on my theory that the X-Men is a representation of gay people in hetero-normative society. Also, Professor X and Magneto? Lovers. If you don’t believe me watch “X-Men: First Class”. James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender have more chemistry on screen than most romantic comedy couples.

Who would have thought that a “Thor” movie would be so successful? Moreover, who would have thought that “Thor” himself, Chris Hemsworth would be so dreamy?

Anyway, let’s get back on track… I am super excited about this week’s release of “the Avengers”. The movie is a perfect mix to appeal to my inner child who loves super heroes and comics books. But, with Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston it appeals to my gay side as well. What’s odd is my excitement over this franchise is a recent development. As a child, I was always much more of a fan of the DC comic universe. Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, etc. But, in recent years DC has been unable to get it together. A failed attempt at relaunching their Superman franchise a few years back and then the terrible Green Lantern film with Ryan Reynolds. While their Batman franchise is spectacular, I find it to be too dark. “Batman Begins” and “the Dark Knight” are great, but they’re not the kind of films I could or even would watch over and over again. As a kid I loved Spiderman, who is arguably Marvel’s biggest property. But, I was only vaguely aware of Captain America, The X-Men and the Fantastic Four. And, characters like Thor, Black Widow and Hawkeye who round out the Avengers were not at all known to me. But, after watching Marvel build and develop this series over the last few years, I count myself among the millions of fanboys excited about the film.

Iron Man himself, Robert Downey Jr. and I in 2010.

It was in 2008 with the release of “Iron Man”, that I think Marvel changed their standing all together. They took who I would consider to be a B-list character and with a little A-list talent, a well written script and a great production made a blockbuster. They then built on Iron Man’s red shoulders and developed a universe. They released “The Incredible Hulk, “Iron Man 2″, “Thor” and finally “Captain America”. Proving that if you do it right, a less popular character can anchor a huge summer blockbuster. If someone told me as a child that Thor would beat the Green Lantern and Captain America at the box office in a few years I would laugh. While all of the films are terrific in their own right, the Iron Man movies are my favorite. RDJ was born to play the role. Plus his playful but sexy chemistry with Gwyneth Paltrow’s Pepper Potts is just about my favorite. I was excited to hear that Paltrow would be featured in “the Avengers”, regardless of how briefly. Aside from her chemistry with Downey, she is one of my favorite actresses.

Mark Ruffalo and I earlier this week after a taping of Jimmy Fallon. When asked he told me a Hulk movie was not set in stone… yet. Regardless of what the internet says.

Now, while I am singing the praises of Marvel and their ability to build an entire blockbuster movie universe, I do feel obligated to point out the 8 foot, 1400 lb, green beast in the room. Mark Ruffalo joins the team as Bruce Banner and from what I have heard from reviews and word of mouth he is the best of the three actors who have portrayed the not so jolly green giant. However, the fact that he is the third actor, affter Eric Bana and Ed Norton is kind of terrible. Rumors have been swirling that Ruffalo has signed a 6-movie deal with Marvel and will star in a Hulk movie of his own. Well, I can reveal that is not the case… at least not yet. When I met Ruffalo I congratulated him on the success of this film and asked him if a Hulk movie was imminent. He told me “not yet exactly, it’s still in discussion.” So I guess we’ll see.

Aside from being a really nice guy, Tom Hiddleston is also amazing as the deliciously evil Loki in “Thor”.

While a Hulk movie may be a way off, the Avengers is finally here and opens tonight at 12:01 all over the United States. Reaction has been positive so far, and I am interested to see how the Avengers interact with each other. But, also how much we see of them. Four of these characters have had their own movies, will each one have their own chance to shine? Also, while he was deliciously sinister as the thorn in Thor’s side, will Tom Hiddleston’s Loki be a sizable foe to six of the world’s greatest heroes? Also with Iron Man and Thor sequels already in the works will these characters be able to stand alone after we’ve seen them stand together? If Tony Stark is having an issue, I am going to think why not call up Bruce Banner? Or set up a portal and beam in Thor for help?

Luckily, my wait for answers is down to a few hours. And, I will keep you posted on my thoughts. But, as of right now I feel comfortable calling “the Avengers” the film to beat this summer. While I am very excited about the Andrew Garfield led Spidey reboot and can’t wait to see Anne Hathaway as Catwoman in “The Dark Knight Rises”, I think that this film is the one that will end up with the biggest bounty at the box office. I just hope for my inner child and comic book nerd that DC gets their shit sorted out. I have always dreamed of a Justice League movie and think that “the Avengers” shows how possible that is. Thankfully while we wait for DC, we have what at this point seems like an infinite universe to explore thanks to Marvel.

Avengers Assemble at Tribeca Film Festival

The BMCC Tribeca Film Festival pavilion.

In the few years that I as a New Yorker have attended the Tribeca Film Festival I have come to expect a few things. The first one obviously, is great films. Last year I screened “the Bully Project, which you know as “Bully”. The documentary about middle schoolers facing terror at each others hands that went through the media wringer about its R Rating. A year before mainstream America was ready for this film, it had opened to a celebratory and heated discussion at TFF. The second thing, is celebrity sightings. One particular evening during a TFF of years past I went to a screening of “Ultrasuede: Discovering Halston” and found myself sharing the screening room with Sarah Jessica Parker and Andre Leon Talley. The final thing, is that the film festival always closes with a bang. The last event is a big, wig snatching, celebrity studded affair. And, on Saturday night the 2012 TFF closed with a bang… or more appropriately a Hulk smash.

Colbie Smulders.

Tom Hiddleston.

The TFF hosted the New York City premiere of”Marvel’s The Avengers”, a super-super hero movie. After years of laying track work, Marvel has assembled Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, and others to fight intergalactic crime. Bringing together four characters who already have their own block buster franchises. No offense to “the Amazing Spiderman”, “The Dark Knight Rises” or anything else opening this summer but, I think “the Avengers” may be the film of the summer. So it being part of the TFF was a huge deal, and that of course meant I had to be there. While the screening was harder to get into than Robert Downey Jr’s Iron Man suit, there was still the red carpet. Lauren and I arrived at the BMCC Tribeca Film Center a few hours before the red carpet commenced. The crowd was already massive, full of excited fan-boys and fan-girls clutching hammers, shields and posters.

The early buzz on Mark Ruffalo's Hulk is overwhelmingly positive. Seems third time is the charm for the not so jolly green giant's casting.

The premiere kicked off before I knew it, and after some crazy hysteria that involved a stampede, a barricade being tossed like a Kleenex and some other stuff I don’t want to think about, Lauren and I found ourselves in the second row with a great view of the stars as they arrived. The first person to step on to the carpet was one of the few people who has appeared in almost every film in the Marvel Universe thus far Clark Gregg, on his heels arrived Colbie Smulders who plays Maria Hill in the film. Before long, the big players started spilling out. Mark Ruffalo, Tom Hiddleston, his on-screen brother Chris Hemsworth and finally Robert Downey Jr. The crowd was in a frenzy every time the door of an SUV opened. But, the crowd was never more crazy than at one point when Hiddleston and Hemsworth were both signing autographs and greeted each other with a hug. It’s nice to see their sibling feud is contained to the big screen only.

Now, you will notice this post is free of pictures of me cheesing it next to any of the Avengers. Or at least I hope you noticed. That is because it was too crazy, I was not able to get close enough. But, I am not even a little mad about it. My regular readers know I get the chance to meet so many of my favorite people. And, in doing that I have come to recognize about 30 other people who also do it regularly. So it blew my mind, that almost none of them were there. It was all new people, who were crazy passionate about this franchise and these characters. So if I am going to miss out, I would rather miss out to people who are passionate about this exclusively. So seeing people nerd out about meeting actors who play their favorite characters was enough to keep me happy. I feel very Oprah right now, watching other people’s happiness making me happy and stuff. Who am I?

I wish I had the chance to thank RDJ for not only getting Gwyneth Paltrow to play Pepper in the Iron Man franchise. But, he apparently also worked hard to get her to agree to cameo in The Avengers.

“The Avengers” opens this Friday, I already have my tickets to see it, but before it opens I will post another blog detailing my excitement about the film. It also will allow me to share my photos with “the Avengers” cast from earlier adventures. A lot of people I have encountered have shared that the film is amazing, plus early reviews and overseas box office have both been hugely positive so needless to say I am very excited. I just hope all of this pre-release buzz doesn’t lead to the movie being spoiled. That would make me angry… And, you won’t like me when I’m angry.

Snow White 2012 – Which Is the Fairest of them All?

Lily Collins, "Mirror, Mirror"'s Snow White and I at the Apple Store's Meet the Filmmaker Event.

Last year, it was announced that a studio decided to take the classic fairytale Snow White and make a live action movie. Before the blogosphere’s commentary had even cooled down, it was announced that another adaptation of Snow White would be made. The first, “Snow White and the Huntsman” would star Charlize Theron as the wicked queen, and the second “Mirror, Mirror” would star Julia Roberts. The eye candy would be played by Chris Hemsworth in the first, Armie Hammer in the latter. But, who would play our fair Snow White? Well Twilight star Kristin Stewart would face off against Queen Charlize. And, facing off against Julia Roberts would be Lily Collins, daughter of Phil Collins.

“Mirror, Mirror” opens nationwide on Friday. So as of right now I’ve only seen the trailers for both films. Usually that would not be enough to judge by, but I feel like we have an overall feel of the tone and mood of the films from what we have seen. Let’s start with Snow White and the Huntsman, from the trailer we see that Charlize Theron’s Queen is a powerful, violent and wicked monarch. When her mirror tells her that Snow White, who has run away and hiding in the dark forest will surpass her as fairest of them all, she hires Chris Hemsworth to kill the young Princess. The Huntsman and his mark apparently team up to overthrow Queen Charlize. After that there’s like 45 seconds of epic battle sequences, Kristen Stewart struggling to do a British accent and some footage of Charlize proving to us that no one will ever surpass her. It is clear that she is the fairest, most fly ass bitch of them all. Overall, the tone is very dark, very sinister and more like a war story rather than a fairy tale. This makes Kristen Stewart’s Snow White more like a Joan of Arc type warrior more than a Princess.

Our other Snow White tale, “Mirror, Mirror” is the exact opposite. From the moment the trailer begins, it’s clear that this is a light hearted, family friendly take and it is as bright and colorful as a candy shop. Julia Roberts plays the aging Queen with a comedic streak, adding to the lighter tone. In the story Snow White runs away, and the Queen is broke. She sets her sights on a rich Prince who would solve all her problems. Of course its the same Prince that meets and falls for Snow White. The Queen casts a spell to win the Prince’s heart and its up to Snow White and the dwarfs to save the day. This one is much closer to how I envisioned Snow White to be. But, some scenes – particularly ones where Armie Hammer acts like a dog make me nervous that it could turn out to be a hot mess. But, I guess we’ll see this weekend.

Move over Snow White, Hollywood's next Princess might be Sleeping Beauty.

Like I said, I think Mirror Mirror is closer to what I imagined Snow White to be like. But, in an ideal world the two films would be mashed together. Lily Collins as Snow White, Armie Hammer as her Prince, the Queen’s huntsman would be Chris Hemsworth and the Queen would be Charlize Theron. The mood would be in the middle, bright, colorful and fun in some scenes but with a dark side when it came to the villain. See Hollywood, you should hire me. I could have saved you $100,000,000 by consolidating the two films into one. I will probably end up seeing both, I already have plans to see Mirror Mirror this coming weekend. And, now that Snow White is out of the way I hope we can move onto other Princess tales. Rumors are circulating that Elle Fanning has been cast as Sleeping Beauty in the Angelina Jolie film about “Maleficent”. I am excited to see that project and hope that my favorite Princess, Cinderella will be the next Princess to get her own movie. That would bring this fairytale trend to a happily ever after for this blogger.