Dead Dawn

They say all good things come to an end, well next Friday “the Twilight Saga” will prove that all bad things do as well. It’s strange to think that just a few years ago, back in 2008 that this “phenomenon” didn’t even exist. And, yet in five years the franchise has exploded and made household names out of Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and pretty much everyone else involved. I knew that the franchise had a polarizing power when after seeing the first movie, my friend Dana ran out to buy the book series. I myself am an avid reader, and had given the books a shot. But, I had never seen Dana read a book, never mind four. Before long she was obsessed and became a full-fledged Twihard. In the years since Dana was first bitten, I have been to five of Robert’s “Today” appearances, three midnight screenings, weathered two casting dramas and one Robsten break up. While I have made no secret of the fact that I am not a fan of the series, being along for the ride with Dana and my other friends has been fun. But, this past week as the cast and the fans geared up for the final stretch before the film’s release I was surprised to see how calm the ride was.

My “Twilight” week started Wednesday morning, as Dana and I walked up to the “Today Show” plaza. Kristen Stewart was slated to make an appearance and I was prepared for the anarchy I have come to expect. Camping out, barricades being tested, chasing cars – it’s all fair game in this fandom. So when Dana and I walked down W48th street I was shocked to see 18 people lined up for Bella Swan herself. Now, last year I waited overnight to get Dana a spot so she could see Rob. And similar measures had to be taken in years before, not by me, but by others. So to show up at 6 AM and find less than 20 people on line was shocking. As things worked out, we didn’t get to meet Kristen Stewart. She was brought over to us and told us yes to our various requests. However, these girls could not get their camera sorted out and cost us facetime with KStew. We fared better with Nikki Reed who was also on the show that morning. She is sweet, gracious and so beautiful. I will never understand why she is not seen in a more favorable light by the fans. The next morning, Rob Pattinson was the star on the plaza and just over 25 people showed up to see him. Now, you’ll say “Brian, it had snowed.” And yes that’s true it had. But, his fans did chase him all around the five boroughs while he filmed “Remember Me” in sweltering summer heat. I thought his fans were weather proof. I will admit, the plaza did fill up slightly more after showtime. But, still we are talking about a fanbase that camps in the street for weeks before movie premieres. This kind of turn out was unheard of. It worked to our advantage because we did get to meet Robert. He was incredible, he came outside in the freezing cold and took photos with pretty much everyone. That is amazingly kind of him and I thank him.

Kirsten Stewart, so close but so far away.

We did get to meet the wonderful Nikki Reed.

Rob works a noticeably smaller crowd on the “Today” plaza.

Now while I have come to expect anarchy and chaos wherever Kristen and Rob go. I have come to expect the opposite where Taylor Lautner goes. In the film he plays proverbial third wheel Jacob Black. And just like Jacob is a better fit for Bella, Taylor is a better fit for the fans. He is nicer and much more patient and comfortable with his fame. In years past, the crowd he has drawn has been significantly smaller than his co-stars. This year? The line was over 50 people when we arrived and doubled to 100 before we were let in. It was so crowded in fact, that Taylor didn’t have time to get to everyone and we left empty handed. We of course had some back-up plans in place and got to meet Taylor later but still it was surprising. Now, all of this begs the bigger question. Where are the Twihards? How is it that a movie franchise that has made over a billion dollars and has created a level of fame that hinders Pattinson’s ability to leave his house is not drawing a bigger crowd as it draws to a close. I mean over the course of the eight Harry Potter films there were times the films were not huge in terms of press and attention. But, when the eighth and final film was released it was a firestorm.

Robert and I at the Today Show.

Taylor and I after his appearance on “Live! with Kelly and Michael”.

When we walked out of the theater last November, I turned to my friends and said one more and we’re done. As I said that I imagined the media blitz Summit was planning. A primetime special about the film’s success, a look-back with former cast members and the inescapable presence of the film’s three stars with a massive crowd of people following their every move. Instead the film seems poised to go out with a whimper, not a bang. The three stars of the film are pretty much done with their television invasion. Robert’s on-screen siblings Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene have a few things coming up but nothing like the cast’s omnipresence of years past. Even Dana’s annual midnight release is drawing less people with many of our friends choosing to see it down the line. A peak at the box office receipts for the series shows they have been on a decline since “New Moon” so I wonder how this last go will fare. I guess I knew that regardless of what Edward told Bella, nothing could last forever. However, I did think that things could at least last until they ended.

He Said, Tee Said

I remember back in 1999, when Winona Ryder was caught shoplifting at Sak’s. The fallout from the scandal unofficially ended her career, unless you count playing a suicidal ballerina and Zac Quinto’s mom in 13 years as a career. It is in my mind, the first HUGE scandal and set the bench mark for all of the celebrity scandals I would see throughout my life. One thing Winnona-gate had that other scandals did not have up until that time? A trendy t-shirt. Fans and supporters of Ms. Ryder all sported “Free Winona” tees. Since then we’ve seen Team Nick and Team Jessica tees and even a Save Britney shirt make the rounds. But, the new shirt that I think is a fashion must have? A tee that reads “Rob Pattinson deserves better”. I have already sent the link to all of my friends and hope they will join me in sporting them when we inevitably see “Breaking Dawn Part 2″ together. Rob does deserve better than someone who is going to betray him, drag his personal life into a three ring circus and then not even have the balls to show their face while he is put through the ringer in the press. And even if you still support Kristen Stewart you have to agree he deserves better than this shitty franchise. You can pick this Fall Fashion must-have at: Skreened.

First Train to Patti-stan

Monday night, Robert Pattinson crawled out of his sweat pants, put down the Ben and Jerry’s (temporarily) and paused “the Notebook” to make his first appearance since news of his split from Kristen Stewart. With his new film “Cosmopolis” gearing up for a limited release in New York and LA, Rob was back in press mode to discuss his new film. The interviewer who landed Robert’s first appearance? John Stewart. Robert would come to “the Daily Show with John Stewart” to discuss Cosmopolis, Cronenberg and Kristen. Some people might think Stewart was lucky to land the first interview after the scandal that rocked Forks and the world. However, I see it differently. I think John Stewart got the short end of the stick in a lot of ways.

Rob and John Stewart bond over ice cream.

Stewart is a hilarious, intelligent and fun personality. And, while his entertainment guests are usually stemmed from a political based project and it makes sense for Robert to be there to discuss his new 1% themed film it was just shitty timing. Stewart isn’t a vulture like Matt Lauer who would harp on the scandal until the segment was over, but he’s not like Kelly Ripa who can sweep it under the rug to discuss trips to the South of France and late night Domino’s pizza orders. Stewart is too upfront to side step the whole ordeal, and I think he did a good job. He addressed the situation, made light of it and never pressed Rob for details. He only asked if he was alright and wished him well. At no point did he twist his arm for the dirty details – like how he found out and where he’s been since the news broke. To his credit, Rob seemed game for the interview even bringing ice cream in a nod to post-break up comfort food binges. Apparently, Rob’s fans saw it differently. From the feedback I saw splashed over the internet and heard in person, the interview was stupid and spent too much timing to discussing “the incident”. I think they’re being a little harsh and are just too close to this whole issue to make a fair call. John was in a tough spot, he couldn’t not talk about it or it would be a cop out. But, he also isn’t the kind of guy who would berate a guest for gossip. There was no perfect way for that interview to go, and considering that I think Jo Stewart did a commendable job.

Rob continued his trend of rocking colored suits at the big premiere.

Plus, a lot of Rob’s fans might have some pent up anger they’re misplacing. When Robert pulled up to the studio Monday night, he shunned myself and about 100 other fans. Despite there being barricades, security and ample time he chose to enter through a garage rather than meet and greet his adoring public. Most puzzling is that the press got to see him hours later at the premiere, so he only hurt his fans who were there to support him. The lack of fan-love didn’t end there, reports from the NY Daily News claim that some girls who waited over two days outside the premiere left in tears when Robert ran right inside. As someone who cherishes their encounters with their favorite stars, I always think this is sad. But, this particular situation is even worse because only his fans lost. The interviewers got their story and the photographers got the shot, however the fans and supporters went home empty handed. While I feel bad for them, his fans weren’t holding grudges. They offered a plethora of excuses ranging from lack of security to it being out of his hands as to why he avoided them. Bless them. It seems the only person worse off than Rob’s NYC fans is Kristen Stewart.

Not only did Rob get his first round of post-scandal interviews out of the way, while Kristen still has that demon to face, he looked good doing it. While I may not have seen him in person, photos show Robert looked dashing in a Gucci suit. I found even me, giving him a double take, and I don’t typically understand the hype around him. If looking good is the best revenge, Rob just served up his kill shot. Your move, KStew.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Hearts Part 2

Robsten was our Camelot. And, with one US Weekly cover, an age is over.

In less than 24 hours, the entire internet has been ravaged by a firestorm of gossip surrounding the very awkward, very pale, very famous power couple Robsten. Made up of on and off-screen love birds Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. The couple have been rumored to be dating since the “Twilight” phenomenon exploded in 2008. While the two have remained coy, it appears after today the Werewolf is out of the bag. Last night People Magazine, the third testament of the Bible in my eyes, released a statement from a source that Kristen had cheated on Rob, was very sorry and realized her mistake. Within moments, US Weekly announced their upcoming cover story which included photos of Kristen canoodling with “Snow White and the Huntsman” director Rupert Sanders. As someone who read their mother’s People magazine since the age of 7, I think People got the statement to kind of spin US Weekly’s scoop. Before you could say “hold on tight, spidermonkey” the internet lost it’s proverbial shit. Fans were rioting, calling foul on the photos, claiming they were photo shopped. And, at around 1 am when I went to bed, fans claimed the director’s wife had called an Australian radio station to say it was her in the photos. Then, US Weekly temporarily took down their story making me nervous that it was all a hoax. But, like a beacon of hope my friend Lauren over at PFG spoke to the radio station and found out there was no truth in those allegations.

I don’t condone cheating, but really? This guy. You were on the set of SWATH. Did you at least make a move on Chris Hemsworth?

When I woke up this morning and clicked on my iPad, I felt like a small child running downstairs to find mountains of presents under a beautiful Christmas tree. Both Kristen Stewart, and her director turned lover Rupert Sanders had released official statements to People Magazine. The pair wholeheartedly apologize, accept blame and do not deny any of the allegations against them. I find this all to be especially crazy because Kristen and Rob are two of the most intensely private people in Hollywood, they are able to be the faces of a billion dollar franchise, conduct interviews all around the world and yet we know very little about them. The idea that this scandal has dragged them both centerstage is just incredible. Now, like I said, this is not my first rodeo. And, I want to extend some advice to some of the Rob/Kristen/Twilight fans.

The press tour for Rob’s upcoming film Cosmopolis and then the final Twilight movie is going to be so uncomfortable.

First to the Kristen fans, accept that this has happened. Denying it and claiming your favorite actress is above doing something this heinous will only make it worse when you accept it down the road. There is an official statement on the record, it’s pretty much set in stone. As someone who was a Britney Spears fan during her Justin days, I know it’s tough. But, hope that she hires a good press and image consultant team and pushes through this. As for the Rob fans, while it is pretty appealing to shade Kristen. Don’t. You never know what skeletons lay in his flannel filled closets. Rumors of him doing Nicki Reed  wrong have been everywhere for years. So, just wish him well in his healing and hope that you can be his rebound slam piece.  I feel like he, Kristen, and the rest of the cast are in for a really uncomfortable Autumn. With the final movie to be released in less than four months, the surrounding press tour and then their victory lap through the “MTV Movie Awards” and “Teen Choice Awards” it is going to be a high wire act. Can you imagine if they win for Best Kiss? Oh my God. The awkwardness. But, that’s literally months away.  In all seriousness, I wish all of them the best and feel like as much as I am not Kristen’s biggest fan it is unfortunate that she had to make this mistake and learn this lesson while living under such scrutiny. I feel terrible for Rupert’s wife Liberty Ross and her children, but from the Twitter and Instagram shade she unleashed before the news hit I think she’s going to be fine. But, poor Robert Pattinson. I imagine he is sitting in a dilapidated apartment in London listening to Katy Perry’s “Wide Awake” and openly weeping. I wish all involved parties some peace and sanity, I hope they all get time to heal and deal before the next press blitz. And, I hope they are given some privacy, enough to deal with the situation but not enough that I don’t know what’s going on. Sorry, I know I am a monster.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Hearts Part One

Seriously, how has no one tried to fix this?

In my life, I have a lot of questions that will most likely go unanswered. Why doesn’t Stella McCartney make menswear? How does Olivia Munn keep getting work? When will someone – Clinton Kelly, Gwyneth Paltrow, anyone give Mario Batalli a make over? And, finally what is the allure of Twilight? If you haven’t read my blog since I founded it, I’ll bring you up to speed on the history of my relationship with Twilight. I read the book at the recommendation of a friend, saw the movie to make sure it sucked as much of the book and thought I was done. A few weeks later, Dana’s husband took her to see the film and her obsession was sparked. Dana then raced out, bought the book series and read them all in two weeks. At that point I knew her obsession was serious, I had known Dana eight years, and had never seen her read for leisure. I then spent the next summer, stalking Robert Pattison with Dana as he filmed a movie here in New York City. His film Remember Me shot over the summer of 2008 with cameras rolling across the city including in my hometown of Middle Village, Queens. Robert was elusive and tested the very foundation of my friendship with Dana. Shortly before the film wrapped, Dana and I finally came face to face with Rob in Long Island City after he filmed an unannounced scene on the street.

Seriously, I don't get Team Edward at all. First of all, look at Jacob. Second of all, he and Bella have an organic relationship and they make more sense. I am yet to hear a convincing argument for Team Edward, so please feel free to leave one in the comments.

Soon after I met Robert, I met a new cast of friends. Lauren and Ilana were first, then June and finally Kathleen. They had seen my photo with Robert, as the photo was stolen off of my Facebook and had gone viral on fan sites. I think originally, they planned to get the details on our meeting and then talk shit about me assuming we would never see each other again. What actually happened, was we all became really great friends. We have a lot of things in common and get along really well, I really love them and we have a blast together. I am not going to lie my lack of love for Twilight and my Team Jacob affiliation was not easy for them to accept, but its now water under the bridge. All of these girls love or at some point loved Twilight. They just got it, they saw things that I didn’t see in it. And, while their love was not contagious, they did soften me up about the series. They made it fun. Whenever we all get together we always have a good time, so if we all get together and go see the movie – we have fun. When the next film is released next week, we are not only all going together, but before hand we’re gonna hang out, order a pizza and have a few drinks. I’m actually looking forward to it, but I still don’t give a hoot about Bella and Edward’s wedding.

Thanks Robert Pattinson for my new friends.

Now, since the girls made Twilight fun for me, I wanted to do something in return for them. I had met Robert Pattinson and wanted to help them meet him as well. I guess because I had met him twice I thought I had some expertise to share. I did not. We have come close several times, including one instance where we attended the after party of his film Water for Elephants. Sure, we got to drink champagne and even speak with Robert during the party but there was no opportunity to get a photo with him. There was also a terrible morning at the Today Show where we were all nursing hangovers where Robert completely shunned us. I don’t want to add salt to the wounds, but do you want to know how many attempts it took for us to get photos with Taylor Lautner? One. He was so nice and so accommodating. Team Edward needs to reevaluate their loyalties.

                

Myself with Rob in 2009, 2010 & 2011

That brings us to this past week, to promote the film Robert was making publicity rounds and in an effort to get a jump on things I waited over night at the Today Show to get us the perfect spot. All in all, I spent 13 hours outside Studio 1A in Rockerfeller Plaza. When we got in things went awry and we were separated. Of course I got to meet Robert, and the girls did not. At one point, I had a premonition and wanted to tell the girls to come join me where I was standing. But, the pressure of it, telling them to leave their spot on a gut feeling kept me from doing so. There have been too many failed attempts. If I had told the girls to move to another spot and then Robert went to where they originally were I would feel terrible. So I ignored my instincts and he came to me and not to them. As soon as I got my photo I felt like shit. I had something my friends wanted, and all I wanted was for it to be them. When the dust settled and we were leaving Kathleen said “this just isn’t fun anymore”. She hit the nail on the head, it wasn’t fun. It was upsetting, it was stressful and it had made me desperately sleep on the street like a hobo.

Myself at the Today Show still hopeful about us all meeting RPattz.

I was most upset not over the night spent on the sidewalk, but that I can’t help my friends achieve this trivial thing. I once heard Oprah say that the reason she did her Favorite Things show was because she enjoyed these things and wanted to share them with people. That you can enjoy an experience more when its shared with people you love. That’s exactly how I feel about this Robert Pattison business, I have met him and I want my friends to meet him because I know how much they love him and I can’t really enjoy the victory knowing that other people are upset about it. I’m not mad at Rob, its not his fault. And, he really did try his hardest at the Today Show. But, I have accomplished so much in my life, and whenever I put my mind to something it gets done. So I just wish it was possible to do this for my friends. They love him, and I love them and I want them to get an experience with someone they love. As many of you know, next year the final chapter of the Twilight Saga will be released. It is the last time Edward, Bella and Jacob will have an adventure on screen and it is our last chance to get a face to face with Robert. I mean not really, but in a way it is. I am not sure how or when but I am going to work towards getting my friends face to face with their favorite sparkly vampire.

The Ballad of Robert Pattinson

The man of my dreams... literally.

Last summer my friend Sara referred a book to me. What you should know about my friend Sara is, she is a full on nerd. She likes Star Wars novels, Harry Potter dress up, Doctor Who spinoffs and a whole bunch of other things that the kids who play World of War Craft would enjoy. When she found out that I didn’t finish the Harry Potter series, she insisted I finish them and I did. I loved them so much, it was so enthralling and well written that when Sara told me, the new series I had to read was called Twilight, I listened. One night at Barnes and Noble I picked up the little black hard cover book with the apple on the cover and went home to read all about Edward and Bella. I’ve never finished it, currently I’m in the middle of the book and have no interest in going any further. But, due to the popularity of the movie series, the sequel of which gets released in about a week, Robert Pattinson is EVERYWHERE. He’s in London, Paris, Tokyo and most recently my dreams.

He wasn't tardy for the party... but he only brought one bag of chips.

I, like the author of the Twilight series Stephanie Meyer can count Edward Cullen himself as the star of my dreams. While Meyer had recurring dreams of Edward and was inspired to write the book series, I woke up and was creeped out. I didn’t not make it through the first book from lack of trying, I tried harder to read that book than anything I’ve ever read before. It almost felt like summer reading assigned from school at certain points. I had to give up because it sucked so hard. When I saw the movie in theaters I laughed out loud at several parts that only my sister, my friend Donna and I seemed to find funny. But as far as Robert Pattinson the star of this monster hit series, I actually like him, mostly because he has openly expressed his dislike for the series and its author. In my dream, Rob came to my house for one of my famous seasonal parties and was even kind enough to bring a bag of Tostito Scoop Chips. When I offered him salsa, he was very excited about a chunky variety I had and while he munched we made small talk about him being shy and I being a great host. (how vain am I that I dream about people complimenting me?) Suddenly my oven started smoking and my door bell was ringing, when I got back from letting my guests in the house I found him standing in the kitchen getting splashed by liquid from my Kitchen Aid stand mixer. Which I am aware was at no point before in use, but again this is a dream therefore it doesn’t have to make sense.

So now my oven is steaming, my Kitchen Aid is splashing all over and I am upset that my party has gone to shit before it even started. I guess in a gesture to comfort me, Robert told me he was a vampire in real life and my contents that splashed on him didn’t burn him. Apparently whatever I was mixing was hot, good to know. This is no comfort, I’m pretty upset. So he kicks and breaks my kitchen window and through the bars that surround it and drags me out of my house, down the drive way and onto the hood of my mother’s car. Once on top of it he says “you better hold on tight spider monkey” and jumps into the air. Which for those of you who read and have good taste, is a direct line/scene from the movie. As we’re taking off my friend Dana screams “Brian, you mother fucker is that Robert Pattinson? Who’s going to throw this party?”. This is where I woke up, because I was scared of the visual of jumping into the air on the back of a British actor. Now, I’m not attracted to Robert, he’s not my type at all, like I said I don’t like Twilight either so as far I can tell the only reason he is the star of a dream is because he is literally everywhere and the obsession of my friend Dana.

Robert and I over the summer on the set of the upcoming Remember Me.

I don’t quite understand the current whirlwind of attention focused on Robert or RPattz as I frequently call him, I mean I don’t think he’s attractive so that might be the disconnect but whatever. I do know that in the last year the boy has gone from total nobody to the most famous 20-something on the planet. I have met Robert, but not long enough to know if my dream version was correct or if he really loves chips and salsa. But, from what I’ve gathered he seems like a pretty nice, down to earth and painfully honest young man. While I hope one day he will give a performance that makes me forgive him for his participation in Twilight, I am currently still waiting. However for the time being I wanted to say that I do feel bad for him, he was not at all prepared and does not seem to be enjoying the rush of fame this movie has brought him. Also in the past year I’ve read countless stories detailing him being trapped inside of his home or hotel due to the reaction he gets in public, separation from his beloved dog and I once even saw a girl jump on his back much like I did in my dream.

While I’m not exactly dazzled by him, like Bella was I must confess there is something interesting about Robert. Which is why I continue to read about him and will go see the sequel to Twilight. Even though, I know its going to be horrible, laughable and a complete waste of money but I also own Crossroads on DVD so clearly those types of movies appeal to me. And, Robert if you read this or if we ever come face to face again I want you to know that you’re too good for Stephanie Meyer and her work, I hope that the hype dies down so you can live your life, that you get to spend more time with your dog because I know how much I love my own and finally if you ever come to one of my parties and bring only a bag of Tostito Corn Chips after making millions making Twilight I will slap you silly.